He paused for a few moments to recover himself and then continued.
"On the morrow I resolved, if possible, to write from memory the
complete Service as we had heard it. During the day, being much
occupied, I was only able to jot down phrases which recurred to my
memory. The principal themes were well impressed upon my mind, and,
although my treatment of them was sure to differ in many ways from the
original, I felt more justified than formerly in attempting what seemed
rather a piece of presumption.
"After a fairly early dinner I settled down in my study about 6.30 p.m.,
determined to work right on until my task was finished.
"My success did not please me. Several times I rose and tried the score
over upon the piano. There was no doubt about it, the main ideas were
there, but still there was everything lacking. The whole affair was
weak, unworthy of my own reputation, and doubly unworthy of the great
writer who had written the Credo. Time after time I studied that
fragment, and strove to find out what it was that gave it such vigour
and force, but it was useless. That was undoubtedly the work of a great
genius, and everything I had written was nothing short of a libel upon
myself, strung together so as to be quite correct in harmony and
counterpoint, but full, nevertheless, of nothing but commonplaces.
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