He unfolds his
scheme for the Taming of the Shrew, on a principle of contradiction,
thus:
I'll woo her with some spirit when she comes.
Say that she rail, why then I'll tell her plain
She sings as sweetly as a nightingale;
Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear
As morning roses newly wash'd with dew;
Say she be mute, and will not speak a word,
Then I'll commend her volubility,
And say she uttereth piercing eloquence:
If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks,
As tho' she bid me stay by her a week;
If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day,
When I shall ask the banns, and when be married.
He accordingly gains her consent to the match, by telling her father
that he has got it; disappoints her by not returning at the time he
has promised to wed her, and when he returns, creates no small
consternation by the oddity of his dress and equipage. This however
is nothing to the astonishment excited by his madbrained behaviour
at the marriage. Here is the account of it by an eye-witness:
Gremio. Tut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him;
I'll tell you. Sir Lucentio; when the priest
Should ask if Katherine should be his wife?
Ay, by gogs woons, quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book;
And as he stooped again to take it up,
This mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff,
That down fell priest and book, and book and priest.
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