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Riley, James Whitcomb, 1849-1916

"Pipes O'Pan at Zekesbury"

I expect it'll be a disapp'intment to some o' you that my
name hain't 'Williams,' but it hain't. And maybe you won't think nigh
as much o' me when I tell you furder 'at I was obleeged to 'dopt the
name o' 'Williams' onc't to keep from bein' strung up to a lamp-post,
but sich is the facts. I was so extremely unfortunit onc't as to kill
a p'ticular friend o' mine, and he forgive me with his dyin' breath,
and told me to run while I could, and be a better man. But he'd
spotted me with a' ugly mark 'at made it kind o' onhandy to git away,
but I did at last; and jist as I was a-gittin' reformed-like, you
fellers had to kick in the traces, and I've made up my mind to hunt
out a more moraler community, where they don't make sich a fuss about
trifles. And havin' nothin' more to say, on'y to send Annie word 'at
I'll still be a father to her youngun here, I'll bid you all
good-bye." And with that he turned and clum in the boat--or ruther
fell in,--far somepin' black-like had riz up in it, with a' awful
lick--my--God!--and, a minute later, boat and baggage was a-gratin' on
the shore, and a crowd come thrashin' 'crost from tother side to jine
us, and 'peared like wasn't a _second_ longer tel a feller was
a-swingin' by his neck to the limb of a scrub-oak, his feet clean off
the ground, and his legs a-jerkin' up and down like a limber-jack's.


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