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Riley, James Whitcomb, 1849-1916

"Pipes O'Pan at Zekesbury"

"
Here the "subject" vaguely smiled.
"You recognize that mug, don't you?" whispered my friend. "It's that
coruscating young ass, you know, Hedrick--in Cummings' office--trying
to study law and literature at the same time, and tampering with 'The
Monster that Annually,' don't you know?--where we found the two young
students scuffling round the office, and smelling of
peppermint?--Hedrick, you know, and Sweeney. Sweeney, the slim chap,
with the pallid face, and frog-eyes, and clammy hands! You remember I
told you 'there was a pair of 'em?' Well, they're up to something here
to-night. Hedrick, there on the stage in front; and Sweeney--don't you
see?--with the gang on the rear seats."
"Phrenology--again," continued the lecturer, "is, we may say, a
species of mental geography, as it were; which--by a study of the
skull--leads also to a study of the brain within, even as geology
naturally follows the initial contemplation of the earth's surface.
The brain, thurfur, or intellectual retort, as we may say, natively
exerts a molding influence on the skull contour; thurfur is the expert
in phrenology most readily enabled to accurately locate the
multitudinous intellectual forces, and most exactingly estimate, as
well, the sequent character of each subject submitted to his scrutiny.


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