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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 14, 1919"


* * * * *
THE COUNTER-ORDER OF THE BATH.
[A Standing Committee of the House of Commons has refused to
vote L3,800 for a lift and a second bathroom in the proposed
official residence of the LORD CHANCELLOR within the precincts
of the House of Lords. In a letter to Sir ALFRED MOND Lord
BIRKENHEAD wrote: "I am sure both yourself and the Committee
will understand that my object in writing is to make it plain
that I never asked anyone to provide me with a residence,
and that I am both able and willing, in a house of my own,
to provide my family and myself with such bathroom and other
accommodation as may be reasonably necessary."]
I did not ask for it; I never yearned
Within the Royal Court to board and bed;
Like all the other honours I have earned,
I had this greatness thrust upon my head;
But if the Precincts are to be my lair
Then for my comfort Ministers must cater;
I want a second bath inserted there,
Also an elevator.
Daily fatigued by those official cares
Which my exalted dignity assumes,
I could not ask my feet to climb the stairs
Which link that mansion's three-and-thirty rooms;
And, if the Law must have so clean a fame
That none can point to where a speck of dust is,
A single bathroom cannot meet the claim
Of equitable Justice.


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