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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 8, 1891"

His name I have
heard long ago. Was it MCSIMMUM? Not unlikely. Can't remember.
Mr. CAPES is energetically explaining and protesting to everybody.
Amid the hum and buzz of voices, I catch what he is saying. It is, "My
dear Sir, Dr. MCSIMMUM _is_ here. I've seen him. He dined alone. He
said he preferred it, as he had so much to do to-morrow." Then several
exclaim, "But _where_ is he _now_?"
"I don't know," replies the Proprietor. "Most likely, being tired,
he has gone to bed. I myself showed him to his room, No. 142, on his
arrival."
Heavens! The number of my room--is 142! Not another man in _there_!
No.... I see it all now, _I am Dr. MCSIMMUM!_ The real MCSIMMUM hasn't
arrived, and he hasn't sent a message. This accounts for my welcome,
and the absence of all difficulty in obtaining a room. But if he
arrives now! where shall _I_ be?
"What's that about MCSIMMUM?" says a jovial voice, coming right into
the midst of them.
To which inquiry responds a chorus, "He's here! Mr. CAPES says so, but
no one's seen him."
"And no one's likely to." returns the cheery speaker. "He's staying
with some friends a little way out of the town. He has just sent me a
note by hand to say that he won't occupy his room till to-morrow, and
will be much obliged if Mr.


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