(_FOR THE USE OF DINERS-OUT AND OTHER AMATEUR ENTERTAINERS._)
_The Strike in Scotland_.--You might suggest, that were it in Ireland,
one might see a _rail_ way out of it, or rather in it. This jest may
be expected to be appreciated by a parson's wife of the sharper sort.
Something ought to be got out of the visit of the agitator BURNS to
the North. Example of what can be done in this direction:--"People
who play with fire (persons who go in for strikes) must expect BURNS."
However, be careful not to say this to a Scotchman, or he may want
your blood before you get to the cigarettes. North Britons are very
jealous of the reputation of their national poet, and permit no
jokes upon the subject. You see, in letting off your witticism at
a Scotchman, you would have to explain that it _was_ a joke. You
might also hint that it was "hard lines" for the Railway Companies
concerned; but this will provoke gloom rather than gaiety amongst
those who have invested in Caledonians and North British. If you talk
about the riots in connection with the movement, you might say that
the pugnacious rioters remind you of safety matches, "for they not
only strike, but strike on the box!"
_The Parnell Negociations in France_.
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