"I am afraid what to do!
want to be just to you, and to be that seems to be wrong-
ing myself, and perhaps it is breaking the commandments.
There is considerable doubt of his death, and then it
is dreadful; let me ask a solicitor, Mr. Boldwood, if I
ought or no!"
"Say the words, dear one, and the subject shall be
dismissed; a blissful loving intimacy of six years, and
then marriage -- O Bathsheba, say them!" he begged in
a husky voice, unable to sustain the forms of mere
friendship any longer. "Promise yourself to me; I
deserve it, indeed I do, for I have loved you more than
anybody in the world! And if I said hasty words and
showed uncalled-for heat of manner towards you, believe
me, dear, I did not mean to distress you; I was in
agony, Bathsheba, and I did not know what I said.
You wouldn't let a dog suffer what I have suffered,
could you but know it! Sometimes I shrink from your
knowing what I have felt for you, and sometimes I am
distressed that all of it you never will know. Be
gracious, and give up a little to me, when I would give
up my life for you!"
The trimmings of her dress, as they quivered against
the light, showed how agitated she was, and at last she
burst out crying.
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