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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870"

As you may have suspected, a noisy demonstration followed
this announcement.
I got out of bed, rang the bell, and requested the _concierge_ to bring
me an auger. The man looked a little astonished at what he undoubtedly
considered a strange request.
For a man to get out of bed in the middle of the night and call for an
auger, was indeed a trifle peculiar. When he brought it, I increased his
astonishment by proceeding to bore a hole through the top of my trunk.
"_C'est un imbecile_," said the concierge, retreating a step or two.
"Not much," I retorted, boring away with renewed vigor. Presently the
orifice was made. Into it I thrust an Alpen stock which had accompanied
me in many a toilsome march through Switzerland, and lifting the lid,
took from the cradle of the trunk a star-spangled banner made of silk,
which had been presented to me by the Young Men's Christian Association
of New York, prior to my departure for Europe, as a token of their
esteem for my services in the capacity of a "reformed drunkard." I
fastened the flag to the stock, put my boots, clothes and other
valuables on top of the trunk, and in a voice intended to express my
defiance of King WILLIAM and his German Lagerheads, spoke these words:
Wave fearless, there, thou standard sheet!
That Yankee trunk and all it holds
(Though Prussian hirelings throng each street)
Is safe beneath thy starry folds!
Saying which I dismissed the humiliated _concierge_, took a drink, blew
out the _bougie_, and sank into the arms of "Tired nature's sweet
restorer.


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