It was horrid of
me, for she was so kind, and settled me in the corner behind the curtain
where I could see and not be seen, rather far back, while she and Lord
Robert were quite in the front. It was "Carmen"--the opera. I had never
seen it before.
Music has such an effect--every note seems to touch some emotion in me. I
feel wicked, or good, or exalted, or--or--oh, some queer feeling that I
don't know what it is--a kind of electric current down my back, and as
if--as if I would like to love some one and have them to kiss me. Oh, it
sounds perfectly dreadful what I have written, but I can't help it--that
is what some music does to me, and I said always I should tell the truth
here.
From the very beginning note to the end I was feeling--feeling--Oh, how I
understand her--Carmen!--_fruit defendu_ attracted her so--the beautiful,
wicked, fascinating snake. I also wanted to dance, and to move like that,
and I unconsciously quivered perhaps. I was cold as ice, and fearfully
excited. The back of Lord Robert's beautifully set head impeded my view at
times. How exquisitely groomed he is! And one could see at a glance _his_
mother had not been a housemaid! I never have seen anything look so well
bred as he does.
Lady Ver was talking to him in a cooing, low voice after the first act,
and the second act, and indeed even when the third act had begun.
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