I found at length, in a remote street, a little room, which was
more suited to my gloomy prospects than to the bright hopes which
I cherished two hours before.
I had obtained permission to spend the winter in Stockholm, and
had thought of spending it in quite a different way to what now
was to be expected. But what was to be done? To let the courage
sink was the worst of all; to lay the hands in the lap and look up
to heaven, not much better. "The sun breaks forth when one least
expects it," thought I, as heavy autumn clouds descended upon the
city. I determined to use all the means I could to obtain for myself a
decent substance with a somewhat pleasanter prospect for the future,
than was opened to me under the miserable protection of Pastor G., and,
in the meantime, to earn my daily bread by copying,--a sorrowful
expedient in a sorrowful condition.
Thus I passed my days amid fruitless endeavors to find ears which
might not be deaf, amid the heart-wearing occupation of writing
out fairly the empty productions of empty heads, with my dinners
becoming more and more scanty, and with ascending hopes, until
that evening against whose date I afterwards made a cross in my
calendar.
My host had just left me with the friendly admonition to pay the
first quarter's rent on the following day, if I did not prefer
(the politeness is French) to march forth again with bag and
baggage on a voyage of discovery through the streets of the city.
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