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Ford, Sewell, 1868-1946

"Wilt Thou Torchy"

You
could see the folks blinkin' and battin' their eyes as if they was half
blinded. Nest I picks up the pilot house and gives the man at the
wheel the full benefit.
"Hey! Take off that light," he sings out. "I can't see where I'm
runnin'. Take it off!"
"Switch off yours, then, you mutt," says I, "and run your cheap
sandwich gang back where they belong under the hominy vines."
My, don't that raise a howl, though! They wanted to mob us for keeps
then, and all sorts of junk begun to fly through the air. Then Cap'n
Lennon took a hand.
"Sheer off there!" he orders, "or I'll turn the fire hose on yon."
Well, the excursion captain stayed long enough to pass the time of day,
but when he saw the sailors unreelin' the hose he got a move on; and in
half an hour we was lyin' quiet again in the moonlight.
Must have been well on towards midnight, and I was just ready to turn
in when Mr. Ellins comes paddin' out of his stateroom, luggin' two
pairs of hip rubber boots.
"Torchy," says he, "call Killam, will you?"
By the time I'd routed out Rupert, I finds Auntie and Vee waitin' in
the main cabin, all dressed for travel.
"I may be the oldest joke on record," says Old Hickory, "but I propose
to know before morning what is in that mound.


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