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Ford, Sewell, 1868-1946

"Wilt Thou Torchy"


"It ought to be great stuff," says Fatty.
"Young man," says Old Hickory, breathin' hard and talkin' through his
teeth, "have you any idea what a splash you'd make if you were dropped
overboard?"
"Oh, come, guv'nor," protests Fatty; "we only want to--"
About then, though, he decides to make a scramble for his boat and the
interview was off. Old Hickory stands glarin' after the pair until
they're out of sight. Then he chuckles unpleasant.
"For a private, not to say secret, enterprise," says he, "it occurs to
me that ours is rather well advertised. What next, I wonder?"
"There's a big boat headed this way on the other side," says I. "Seems
to me I hear a band, too."
"Excursionists!" says Auntie. "Do you suppose they would have the
impudence?"
"Looks like a moonlight round trip, with the _Agnes_ as the object of
interest," says I. "Yep! They've got the searchlight on us."
"This is insufferable!" says Auntie, and beats it below, to lock
herself in her stateroom.
"Gr-r-r-r!" remarks Old Hickory, and follows suit.
We never did trace out who had done such thorough press work for us;
but I have my suspicions it was the chief steward, who went ashore
reg'lar every morning after milk and cream. But the round-trippers
surely was well posted.


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