"They aren't my relatives and never were. The
more I look at them the more convinced I am that there's no room
for them to perch on my family tree. I disown them both. Back to
the woods with the Swede imposters!"
I win by an eyelash.
I was so happy I went over to the mantel and began to bite the
bric-a-brac.
Clara J. didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so she compromised by
giggling at Uncle Peter, who sat on the piano stool whirling
himself around rapidly and muttering, "any kind of exercise is good
exercise."
Aunt Martha stared around the room from one to another in
speechless amazement, while the two innocent causes of all the
trouble stood motionless, with their noses tip-tilted to the
ceiling.
Presently Aunt Martha broke the spell just as I was about to eat a
cut-glass vase in the gladness of my heart.
"Go to the kitchen!" she said sharply to the newcomers, whereupon
they both turned in unison and looked the old lady all over.
Finally they decided to discharge Aunt Martha, for the oldest
member of the troupe folded her arms decisively and said, "Sure, it
ain't in any lunatic asylum I'll be afther livin', bless th'
Saints! If yez have a sinsible moment left in your head will yez
give us th' car fare back to th' city, and it'll be a blessed hour
for me whin I plants me feet on th' ferryboat, so it will!"
Uncle Peter checked the fiery course of the piano stool and began
to make his double chin do a gurgle, whereupon the youngest of the
two female impersonators handed him a glare that put out his
chuckle and he started the piano stool again at the rate of 45
revolutions per minute.
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