To the boy she would be a mother indeed; to lead him in the paths of
truth and loyalty and manliness and the fear of God--it was a
priceless privilege, and already her mother-heart yearned to begin the
task.
And then after the flow came the ebb. Why had he chosen her? Was it
_merely_ as an abstraction--the embodiment of an ideal, a survival
from a host of pleasant memories, and as a mother for his child, who
needed care which no one else could give, and as a helpmate in
carrying out his schemes of benevolence? Were these his only motives;
and, if so, were they sufficient to ensure her happiness? Was he
marrying her through a mere sentimental impulse, or for calculated
convenience, or from both? She must be certain; for his views might
change. He was yet in the full flow of philanthropic enthusiasm. She
shared his faith in human nature and the triumph of right ideas; but
once or twice she had feared he was underrating the power of
conservative forces; that he had been away from Clarendon so long as
to lose the perspective of actual conditions, and that he was
cherishing expectations which might be disappointed. Should this ever
prove true, his disillusion might be as far-reaching and as sudden as
his enthusiasm. Then, if he had not loved her for herself, she might
be very unhappy. She would have rejoiced to bring him youth and
beauty, and the things for which other women were preferred; she would
have loved to be the perfect mate, one in heart, mind, soul and body,
with the man with whom she was to share the journey of life.
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