And for days her soul
hovered betwixt two worlds.
On the night of the 19th, a fierce storm raged over England; and
Mr. Pepys, being waked by the roaring of mighty winds, turned to
his wife and said: "I pray God I hear not of the death of any
great person, this wind is so high." And fearing the queen might
have departed, he rose betimes, and took coach to the palace that
he might make inquiries concerning her, but found her majesty was
still living. She was now, however, unconscious; and gave free
voice to the secret sorrow which underlay her life, because she
had not borne children to the king. Had she given him heirs, she
felt assured he would certainly love her as well as he loved his
mistresses; and would feel as proud of her offspring as of those
borne him by other women. But though she had proved capable of
becoming a mother on more than one occasion, it pleased heaven to
leave her childless, to her great grief. Therefore in her
delirium, desires shaped themselves to realities, and she
believed she had given birth to three children, two boys and a
girl. The latter she fancied much resembled the king, but she
was troubled that one of the boys was plain featured. And seeing
her grief at this, his majesty, who stood by, sought in pity to
console her, saying the boy was indeed pretty; at which she
brightened visibly, and answering him said: "Nay, if it be like
you, it is a fine boy indeed, and I would be very well pleased
with it.
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