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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 18, 1917"


"Well, I've no man to spare," he said at last. "But there's a boy in
the village who could come. He's not right in his head quite, but
he'll be handy."
"Does he know the channels?" I asked.
"No, I wouldn't say he knew the channels," he replied, "but he'll be
handy."
"Have you any life-belts?" I asked.
"There were some," he said, "but they've gone."
"You're not very encouraging," I remarked. "Surely you don't want
people drowned in your boats? It wouldn't do the village or the hotel
any good."
"No, I suppose not," he assented thoughtfully; "but no one's going to
be drowned. No one ever has been drowned in that boat since I've had
her." He laughed a hearty laugh. "So that's all right," he added, and
was gone.
I now know what an invalid feels like who, after a few weeks in (so to
speak) cotton-wool, is deposited on the doorstep in the sleet.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Grandpapa_ (_to small Teuton struggling with home
lessons_). "COME, FRITZ, IS YOUR TASK SO DIFFICULT?"
_Fritz_. "IT IS INDEED. I HAVE TO LEARN THE NAMES OF _ALL_ THE
COUNTRIES THAT MISUNDERSTAND THE ALL-HIGHEST."]
* * * * *
"Consequently, if Austria wants to save her twin-broth Hungary
from a crushing defeat she must take her armies from Lemberg in
a round-about way through most inconvenient mountain passes.


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