* * * * *
[Illustration: _Visitor to a country churchyard_ (_seeing elderly
gentleman listening hard, presumably to the choir singing in the
church_). "IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?"
_Elderly gentleman_ (_naturalist, listening to the grasshoppers_).
"AND THE WONDERFUL THING IS THAT THEY DO IT BY RUBBING THEIR LEGS
TOGETHER."]
* * * * *
"Ex-P.C. and wife will take care of your residence during holidays
or other period; p.c. will receive prompt attention."--_Sheffield
Telegraph._
But what about p.c.'s wife?
* * * * *
"The bride's going-away dress was a silver cigarette
case."--_Dover Telegraph_.
We don't like this new fashion for brides. It is too suggestive of
"weeds."
* * * * *
"Ale and beer--Brew your own, 4? gallons for 1s.; intoxicative;
no malt; legal; two trade recipes, 1s."--_Cork Examiner_.
In England we do not require to brew this "intoxicative" with "no
malt" for ourselves. Every public-house sells it.
* * * * *
SIRENS AND THEIR SUCCESSORS.
[A writer in an evening paper has been discussing the book that
might be written on Sirens' Songs.]
What were the songs the Sirens sang
Three thousand years ago or more,
When their silvery voices rose and rang
Over the ocean's wine-dark floor,
And brought a strange perturbing pang
To the heart of the wisest man of yore?
Music and words have passed away,
But a modern rhymer is free to guess
What lent such wizardry to their lay,
What gave it glamour and tenderness,
And lured the hardy seaman astray
From the paths of duty and toil and stress.
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