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Read, Opie Percival, 1852-1939

"The Starbucks"

I thought I was singing."
"I'm not singin'," Margaret spoke up, grasping Jasper's arm. "I haven't
been so jolted since the mules ran away with me."
"Margaret," said Jasper, "you'd be jolted in the garden of Eden. Jolted
out, I gad," he roared.
"I wouldn't, no sich of a thing, an' you know it. Lou, air you shore
you put everything in the basket."
"Yes'm."
"The pickels, and the chickens? I jest know you forgot the coffee, as if
I could go all day without it. I never seed the like. Folks air gittin'
mo' an' mo' keerless every day. Of co'se you could put in the
pickels--had to do that to leave the coffee out. Now what prompted you
to do that?"
"Do what, mother?"
"Why, leave that coffee out?"
"It's in the basket."
"Then why did you tell me you didn't fetch it? What do you want to
torment a body fur? Now, Jasper, whut air you a settin' up here fur, a
shakin' like a lump o' calf-foot jelly? You give me the fidgits."
"Wall, thar won't be nobody a laughin' now putty soon," said Jasper. "I
kin see right now that these steers air goin' to run off inter the
creek.


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