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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, December 12, 1917"


Herein I speak as I am taught--
That your affairs are yours alone,
Though, for myself, I should have thought
They had a bearing on my own;
Have I no right to interpose,
Urging on you a free autonomy,
Just as your U-boats shove their nose
In my interior economy?
I'm told we have no quarrel, none,
With you as Germans. That's absurd.
Myself, I hate all sorts of Hun,
Yet will I say one kindly word:
If, still refusing Freedom's part,
You keep the old Potsdam connection,
With all my sympathetic heart
I wish you joy of that selection.
O.S.
* * * * *
AN ORDER OF THE DAY.
In my opinion the value of the stock letter has distinct limitations.
What I mean to say is that if there is in a Government office a series
of half a dozen standard epistles, one or other of which can be used
as a reply to the majority of the conundrums that daily serve to bulge
the post-bag of the "controller" or "director," the selection of the
appropriate missive should not be left purely to chance.
Last month I wrote to the Methylated Spirit Controller:--
"DEAR SIR,--Referring to the recent Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel)
Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, I wish to know whether I am at
liberty to use my car as a means of conveyance to a farm about ten
miles away where the rabbits are eating the young blades of wheat.


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