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Kelland, Clarence Budington

"Scattergood Baines"


Out of an adjoining store came a young woman in a queer bonnet, with a
tambourine in her hand. "Huh!" said Scattergood, and stopped her.
"Salvation Army, hain't you?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hold it out," he said, motioning to the tambourine.
She obeyed, and he dropped into it the package of bills, and, looking
into her startled, almost frightened eyes, he said: "It come from fools
to sharpers.... I calculate nothin' but a leetle salvation'll kill the
cussedness in it.... Make it do all the salvagin' it kin...."
Whereupon he passed on, leaving a bewildered woman to stare after him.
Next morning, Scattergood, accompanied by Mr. and Mrs. Ovid Nixon,
alighted from the train in Coldriver. Deacon Pettybone happened to be
standing on the depot platform.
"Make you acquainted with Mis' Nixon," said Scattergood, with gravity.
"She's what Ovid come down with.... Can't blame a young feller for
forgittin' work a day or two when he's got him sich a wife.... Deacon,
this here girl's performed a service for Coldriver. Increased our
population by two--her and Ovid. And, Deacon, Ovid hain't the fust man
that ever was made so's he was wuth countin' in the census by marryin'
him a wife.


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