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Kelland, Clarence Budington

"Scattergood Baines"


Pettybone.
"Blessed is the peacemaker," said Mrs. Hooper.
"Thankee, ladies. I don't mind bein' a peacemaker any time--when I kin
do it at a profit."
"It's always done at a profit, Mr. Baines, if you read the Good Book.
This day you laid up a treasure in heaven."
"Trouble with depositin' profits in heaven," said Scattergood, very
soberly, "is that you got to wait so tarnation long to draw your
int'rest."

CHAPTER V
HE MAKES IT ROUND NUMBERS

"It's a telegram from Johnnie Bones," said Scattergood Baines to his
wife, Mandy, as he tore open the yellow envelope and read the brief
message it contained.
"Telegram!" said Mandy. "Why didn't he write? Them telegrams come
high.... Huh! Jest one word--'Come.' Costs as much to send ten as it
does one, don't it?"
"Identical," said Scattergood.
"Then," said Mandy, sharply, "if he was bound to telegraph why didn't he
git his money's worth?"
"I calc'late he thought he said a plenty," Scattergood replied. "Johnnie
he don't like to put no more in writin' that's apt to pass from hand to
hand than he's obleeged to.... Mandy, looks like we better start for
home."
"What d'you s'pose it kin be?" Mandy asked, already busy laying clothing
in their canvas telescope.


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