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Bramah, Ernest, 1869?-1942

"The Wallet of Kai Lung"

"
"They well said--they of Shan Tzu--that the people of Wu-whei were
intolerably ignorant and of low descent," continued Kai Lung, without
heeding the interruption; "that although invariably of a timorous
nature, even to the extent of retiring to the woods on the approach of
those who select bowmen for the Imperial army, all they require in a
story is that it shall be garnished with deeds of bloodshed and
violence to the exclusion of the higher qualities of well-imagined
metaphors and literary style which alone constitute true excellence."
"Yet it has been said," suggested Hi Seng, "that the inimitable Kai
Lung can so mould a narrative in the telling that all the emotions are
conveyed therein without unduly disturbing the intellects of the
hearers."
"O amiable Hi Seng," replied Kai Lung with extreme affability,
"doubtless you are the most expert of water-carriers, and on a hot and
dusty day, when the insatiable desire of all persons is towards a
draught of unusual length without much regard to its composition, the
sight of your goat-skins is indeed a welcome omen; yet when in the
season of Cold White Rains you chance to meet the belated
chair-carrier who has been reluctantly persuaded into conveying
persons beyond the limit of the city, the solitary official watchman
who knows that his chief is not at hand, or a returning band of those
who make a practise of remaining in the long narrow rooms until they
are driven forth at a certain gong-stroke, can you supply them with
the smallest portion of that invigorating rice spirit for which alone
they crave? From this simple and homely illustration, specially
conceived to meet the requirements of your stunted and meagre
understanding, learn not to expect both grace and thorns from the
willow-tree.


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